Saturday, 3 September 2016

Expectation vs Reality #12 | The Sammydress.com Edition* | Collab with Style Lingua

I've made some proper fab friends through blogging, yeno. 

I pure heart the fact that some of the [many] mad ramblings I've churned out on the internet have connected me to some super mega babes, made people laugh and received some of the nicest comments; from readers all over the world. 

Some of my most popular posts are those which take the shape of my Expectation vs Reality series; where I normally end up posting photos of my bum in way-too-small-clothing and details of how poor I am online - and get away with it! My gorgeous friend Carolin who writes Style Lingua blog [check her out guys, her style is on POINT & she has a much more interesting life than me!] recently suggested we go halvsies on a collab she was offered by SammyDress [which was the kindest and cutest thing possibly ever to happen to me in my adult life] as part of the series. So of course, being the avid bargain hunter that I am [pass me that fleece, David Dickinson - you've been upstaged] always dedicated to sourcing the cheap [and not nasty] I agreed. We both chose a couple of items each, which Sammydress.com kindly gifted us with.

You can read Carolin's half of the collab here and with that, let's get on with this shiz [now I've got my pure emotional bit outta the way.]


lovelaughslipstick blog expectation vs reality series sammydress.com collab style lingua

Before I kick off into a mad attack of opinions and [potentially] inappropriate photos - let's recap, for any of you who may not know what this series is all about; or might need a quick refresher to blast those cobwebs away.


I am one of the poorest people in the land - if not all time ever. I'll hold my hands up high and admit that I am that girl; the one whose card has been declined for a solitary can of Smart Price tuna, who scavenges food off others like a massive, tanned seagull and the kinda bird who sees a penny on the floor and has to pick it up - regardless of the high potential it has to be covered in scally urine.


Combine this with the fact I have an uncontrollable urge to buy things, an addiction to online shopping and that I am also a self confessed eBay junkie - and you have the basis to this series [bargains are my equivalent of crack.]


When I buy something - no matter how cheap it is - I want to know what I'm getting will be sh*t hot, not just plain old sh*t. But sadly, more often than not, that amazing looking playsuit you got for a quid and that looked pure fit on the model, turns out to be nothing more than a sick joke with lace on.


This, my friends, is what the cool kids call an 
'Expectation vs Reality' moment. You know what I mean; you order an absolute bargain online that looks like it's going to be a pure fitty, but then when it arrives... you don't know whether to laugh or cry because of how terrible it is. And sometimes, you just give up and do both; simultaneously. THAT.


This series tests out some of the cheapest bargains of the internets, to see if they meet the expectations that their stock imagery suggests. Kind of like a cool Watchdog; with much less Anne Robinson and much more swearing.


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Expectation vs Reality: Part #12 > Sammydress.com




*Stock imagery, sourced directly from retailer's website. All rights belong to Sammydress.com on this image


Expectation > Chic Solid Color Knot Felt Floppy Hat, $7.85 on promotion at the time of writing [about £6.00]


Sammydress are based in China [I think] so I expected to be waiting a while for my goodies to arrive. That being said, they actually came pretty quickly; which was great, as I was dying to see what I'd let myself in for with these choices. If you've read any of this series before, you'll know that these bargains can either go really, really right - or horrifically wrong; but that both situations bring me equal amounts of happiness and / or lolling.


I've always wanted a nice fedora and I'm actually going away soon - so when picking my items, this stood out to me from the get-go. I never wear hats on holidays usually and just spend my time envying the pure boho vibes that other girls can rep; sashaying round the pool with their hats, kimonos, wedges and one pieces. Why can't I be cool? Anyway. Another reason this stood out to me was because of its material - the felt-esque material pictured online looked more substantial than other hats I'd perved on - and I loved that fact that it wasn't a pure seasonal looking straw fedora too. The site said that one size fits all, so I was in there like swimwear.





Reality >  You know what, I was pleasantly surprised by this hat. I was even more surprised by how quickly it pinged back into shape; given that it was shipped flatpacked into a pure sandwich bag.

It's a really nice hat and not too bad quality, actually - in fact, the only problem I ran into with this item was my massive head. As soon as I tried to put it on my oversized nugget, it became all too clear to me why I never buy hats. FML. It's no secret my head is colossal - but this hat unfortunately won't go on properly at all and sits unfortunately on top of my head; making it look even bigger than it already is [if that's even possible!] I might try and wear this on holiday anyway, provided it's not pure gusty [as it would be gone in a literal second.] So anyway, here's some photos of me precariously balancing it on my massive f*cking head and generally loving life.





Conclusion > If I had a slightly smaller cranium, this would be great yeno. So if your head is a bit more on the dainty / normal sized side of life [rather than like my colossal sunblock of a skull] then this isn't half bad; and a total bargain.

Before I crack on with my review of the second item, I need to warn you to brace yourself for my arse. It's coming. And this ain't pretty. I legit never thought I'd see the day where I posted so many arse pics online, but hey.

Expectation > Alluring [oh aye?!] Plunging Neckline Solid Color Romper, $9.69 on promotion at the time of writing [about £7.40]


I love a good playsuit; I feel that they flatter my mad half apple / pear shaped body and also, help prevent any flashing incidents once I've had 15
Jagerbombs too many. Looking at the size chart, I decided that a Size L would probably be best for me [I'm around a UK size 12 - and these hips don't lie at the moment!] Again, I thought this would be super cute to take away with me this year and I was pure looking forward to receiving it. Which made the sick joke which arrived doubly hurtful haha.






*Stock imagery taken directly from retailer's website. All rights on the above images belong to Sammydress.com



Off the stock images, this playsuit looks pretty, boho .. it even has a peplum inspired front to hide when I've been eating too many bourbon biscuits and swearing 'I'll start my diet tomorrow.' Perfect for my holiday, I thought, as I plan to eat a lot of kebabs. Unfortunately for me however, my body as well as my head, is just too bloody big. Whereas the fedora was the good, the bad and the ugly [my arse] are coming in the below images. Be warned. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that my head and body are just colossally huge and I should give up ever trying to buy clothes again. EVER.





'Maybe it looks better if i shield my dignity a bit with my arms and yank the permo wedgie out?!'


I don't think many words need accompany these truly disturbing images. It's sh*tting tiny and in no way could it ever be classed as being 'Large'. It gives me all the wedgies, in areas I never thought wedgies were humanely possible. It has casual rogue threads dangling off it at the seams, is a totally different shape than the product in the images online and looks like you're wearing it inside out on first glance. Plus the sleeves. Loooooool.


Conclusion > Although the photos of this playsuit may break the internet [for all the wrong reasons] there's that much stuff on Sammydress.com that I reckon there's bound to be some good stuff ready to be found. I've seen about a million things I want to try out already, when furiously stalking their online store. 


I'd definitely shop with Sammydress again in the future. On this occasion however, I unfortunately managed to head right in there and pick one of the bad eggs. But it makes for good reading, hey? [maybe.] Click here to find out how Carolin got on with her choices!


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Aside from the hideous sight that is my arse, what are your thoughts on the items I chose? Have you tried ordering with SammyDress before and had better / worse luck? Or have you had any Expectation vs Reality moments yourself recently? 



*I chose these items from Sammydress.com, who gifted them to Carolin - who sent them to me, haha. To explain a little more - Sammydress were collaborating with Carolin and gave her a small budget to spend in their online store, with which we both picked a couple of items on, for an Expectation vs Reality collab of our own. All opinions are my own, as you may be able to tell, what with all the swearing haha. #LongestDisclaimerEVER
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