Although I'm usually the dumper when it comes to dating [not in a pooing way, there'll be no climbing onboard The Cleveland Steamer on my watch thx] there has been a few times in my life that beautiful romances have been cut short [lol, beautiful's a bit extreme] in their prime by the bloke I've been seeing - for like, the sh*ttiest reasons

There's a few guys I've dated where I can kinda understand why they bolted for the hills [like those who I used to drunk text about jacket potatoes, egg & spoon races and about my virtual pet horse... but Horseface is a story for another time.] But then, there's just those who've left me literally baffled with their sh*tty arse excuses  - and again clearly illustrated why I'll never understand the inner workings of the male brain. Here's a few of the worst excuses given to me by blokes of the past as to why we could never be together. Lolololol. I feel totally like Taylor Swift RN.

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1. 'We can't see each other any more as I think I'm falling for you.'

Erm... correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the whole reason you see someone in the first place?! Words sorta fail me on this one, and these romantic encounters epically crumbled & went to sh*t after this revelation. Not surprisingly.

2. 'You didn't answer the phone when I came up to see you.'

You rang me once and it was on withheld, you tit. NOONE answers withheld numbers, unless they want to spend 20 minutes being tortured by some geezer in an overseas call centre; trying to convince you that you were in a car accident recently and should totes claim with their '100% legit company.' The end.

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3. 'I'm not ready for a relationship.'

LOL. This in itself is fine as a kinda 'cooling things off, not-putting-a-label-on-it' thing to say. However, said male then dropped off the face of the earth after a few intense weeks of dating and mysteriously changed his relationship status on FaceyB to 'In A Relationship' 2 days after saying this. WITH SOMEONE ELSE. MAN this f*cker played me!!

4. 'I can't speak to you anymore as I'm starting college soon and I'm going to have too much homework to do bye.'

Hahahaha okay m8. Ah, how I miss these simpler, MSN fuelled times. I feel genuinely sad for teenagers today, who won't get to experience Messenger, nudges and deliberately going on / offline to get someone's attention. And emo statuses, full of upper & lower case teenage angst and squiggles.

5. 'I've dumped you and I'm going out with Kylie now.'

Ah, Primary School romance was savage. But honest - which tbh, I'd much prefer over Billy Bullsh*t's excuses any day!

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Dating is never straightforward or simple - and as much as it drives us crazy, I guess that's also part of its appeal. No matter what your age, location or sexuality [ASL? Oh MSN - why did you have to die out?!] - there's plenty of fun to be had and stacks of new friends to be made in the old dating game. 

What's the worst reason for breaking up you've ever heard, or given someone?!
*This post contains sponsored links, cos ya girl's gotta keep fending them bailiffs off somehow! All opinions and tragic dating stories are 100% my on though, embarrassingly enough.
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