The Freebie That Makes My Lazy Life... Lazier

Being realistic, I only really feature products on the LLL blog if they are: 

  1. Cheap as chips [or, on that topic, probably chips themselves - they'd make the grade for things I'll blog about let's be honest - especially curly fries.] 
  2. From brands I like and reckon you should, too.
  3. Make me look like I'm a functioning member of society / not an eyesore to other humans.
  4. Stuff I've either loved / hated enough to want to tell you guys about it. 
  5. Or very rarely, things which are really fit and unobtainable on my budget and which I just sit perving on every day and night of my poverty stricken life.

So, with this 'strict' criteria, I have made a little beauty discovery today which I want to share with you - because not only does it tick a fair few of the boxes above, it also allows me to be really lazy, but yet still feel like a proper adult who gets shiz done. Interested? Why not read on - I promise my rambling will wear off in a minute, I'm on a sugar high from consuming lots of cake in the bath.

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I have every good intention to moisturise. I get out of the bath, get dry and think 'yeah let's do this.'
But then quite often, I get distracted or forget - or more often than not, just full on fall asleep. It's a bit of a boring task I feel; then once I've moisturised I always tend to forget and sit down or get into bed when before the product has soaked into my skin and end up leaving sinister looking body prints everywhere; like one of those sex canvasses Penny and Leonard make in The Big Bang Theory

This changed today. 

As part of the Boots order I placed over the weekend, if you spent a certain amount of coin online on skincare products, they threw in a free gift. Excellent. I think the threshold was quite high - I think it might have been a minimum spend of £25 [holy sh*tballs] - but I needed some new Bio Oil and Razors and Radox and that, so the amount soon crept up and I qualified. I wasn't expecting much from the free gift, but I'll put this out there right now - it's a gamechanger.




Free gift - click here for more deets - Boots Botanics Instant Moisture Mist - 150ml, £4.29

This stuff is a legit life hack. It sprays out of an aerosol can, like some of the fake tan sprays you can pick up. And you just simply spray it over your body to your level of satisfaction - and you're done. I bashed on a bit of old skool Rihanna and had a bit of a dance about whilst performing this duty and I'd managed to moisturise my entire body in legit about 45 seconds. And I'm massively tall and rapidly expanding weight wise - so there's a lot of me to cover right now. The spray itself comes out as a really fine mist [and not squirting out like silly string, like I envisaged before using it] and it rapidly absorbed into my skin, meaning I also wasn't left pure oily and slippery post session.

I didn't plan on posting tonight, I planned on lots of sleeping and biscuits - but I felt like this was too much of a revelation to not share. I will 100% be buying more of these spray on moisturisers and hopefully my skin and my schedule will thank me for it!

Have you ever tried a moisturising mist spray?

Budget Face Base [BFB]

First things first, before I get going on this post; I won't claim to be some pure makeup artist. I have never added "MUA" to my Facebook name and my winged eyeliner is very rarely on point. However, what I can do is work to a mean budget and use the products I find to suit me to the best of my ability. Therefore, I'm here today to share my budget flawless face base with you guys and the products I use to give myself a clear and [mostly] blemish free complexion. 


I'm also not being pure vain; my skin is a holy show and there will always be people who can make their faces look a tril times better than mine. But I do get complimented on how I do my makeup and my 'clear skin' [lolz, if only they knew of the spot army lurking under my coating of makeup] so I'm going with that. Even if most of my compliments do stem from the elderly.


We're only talking base here; obv I enjoy a bit of blusher - I even contour and highlight as a treat sometimes - but these are the four tools that make me look like an acceptable human in the face - and which achieve a flawless base to build from. The products I use to contour, bronze, illuminate and add a subtle blush to my cheeks might surface in a post another day.

For a budget flawless finish, I use:


[L-R] Rimmel Stay Matte Liquid Mousse FoundationRimmel Clear Complexion Transparent Powder, MUA Pro Base Prime & Conceal Palette, Makeup Revolution Ultra Cover and Conceal Palette.

Rimmel Stay Matte Liquid Mousse Foundation - for lightweight shine control, in shade 200 - Soft Beige - £5.99 from Boots

This foundation is legitimately bae. Consistency wise, it's a lovely, fluffy mousse [and not mousse like I imagine it, like the chocolate and strawberry mousses that used to be on offer for pudding at Primary School.] It's pretty much full coverage without being too heavy - the tiniest bit melts onto the skin to cover such a large portion of face. I used to heart Rimmel's 25 hour Foundation the most, but this little beauty has pipped it to the post at the moment. At £5.99 it's not the cheapest bargain beauty product I own [my ultimate goal products are mostly those which cost me less than a fiver] but it's nowhere near the pricetag of a high end product and it's a pretty important piece of kit in getting my face to look socially acceptable. Plus, you get Boots points *thumbs up emoji.*


MUA Pro Base Prime & Conceal Palette - £4.00 from Superdrug 

How did I even live without this invention? If you don't know much about this colour correcting malarky [and to be honest, I usually just wing it and hope for the best] here's some deets from their website to tell you a bit more.


*image from www.muastore.co.uk

I also have the colour correcting powder from MUA, which is equally as cheap and a pretty decent sized portion. I stick a bit of the green concealer over any red patches I'm currently representing i.e. spot city and a mix of the peach and yellow on my under eye circle / baggage situation. I also quite like the highlighter in the middle and will use this as part of my contour game. I'll also add, I usually use these tones before I apply my foundation, as to blend them subtly and avoid looking like I  have a rainbow for a face.

Makeup Revolution Ultra Cover and Conceal Palette in Light - £6.00 from Makeup Revolution online

This is a truly fab little palette. At £6.00, it does come in as the most expensive product within this post - but prior to discovering this palette, I'd typically use both a stick concealer and a liquid concealer; so I have downsized and really, getting eight different shades of concealer for £6.00 ain't too shabby. I use the paler, more yellowy toned concealers from this palette to highlight down my nose and under my eyes [you know the ritual, one of them tribal face paint type contouring / highlighting patterns you see on YouTube] before I blend it all in and seal it in place with my setting powder of choice.

Rimmel Clear Complexion Transparent Powder, £3.99 from Boots

I full on love this translucent powder. I've tried other pressed powders - and even others from within Rimmel's range - and they all seem to cast these weird brown marks across my face and gather above my lips, so that I have a dark n patchy muzzy. I go through so many pans of this stuff; if they ever discontinued it, I'm honestly not sure what I'd do. Well, other than be horrifically shiny and do all the crying.

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Do you use any of my favourite budget base products? Do you have any other recommendations for me? Or have you encountered bad times with any of the above products and fancy venting? My comments box and all social platforms ever welcome your thoughts :) You can find the links to connect with me down the side of my template if you fancy being mates!


Mac Velvet Teddy | Dupe

I'm in a somewhat awkward life predicament; I want to buy nice things and keep up with current trends, yet I am also too poor to justify ever blowing big bucks on high end products. I'm always on the hunt for a good bargain, but then there's always that risk of getting your mitts on something not so much cheap and cheerful, but just cheap and plain nasty. Can duplicate or raging knock offs of high end products ever really be as good as their lux alternatives? Is it worth buying them - or just best to give up, gamble madly in the hope you win the lottery and simply dream of a Mac shaped miracle?


Personally, I will most likely never know what I'm missing when it comes to high-end products, given that I spend most of my time in the Smart Price aisle and weep with ecstatic joy when a new 'Roll Back' or 'Oops..' sticker appears on an item. But for a while, I have quite fancied having a go at achieving Kylie Jenner-esque lips with my new [knock off] Lip Plumper and the shade everyone rants and raves about; Velvet Teddy by Mac.

Naturally, when beginning my online shopping mission to find this lipstick, I didn't google Mac products themselves - as this would be a fruitless mission for me given how bankrupt I am; instead I cut out the middleman and searched for 'Mac Velvet Teddy dupes.' One recommended dupe which kept popping up was the Wet n Wild Matte Lipstick in the shade Bare it All. So I logged onto eBay and picked one up for £3.92 including postage from LA to see whether it was worth all the hype.


Expectation vs Reality: Part 1

It's no secret I'm a cheapskate. My scrounging ways and adoration for Smart Price is recognised by all who know me - or read anything I've written [apart from that time my card was declined for Smart Price tuna, then the adoration temporarily dropped as the shame rocketed.] There are few things worse to a penny pinching bargain-hunter like myself - and that is the old 'Expectation vs Reality' game. You know what I mean; when you order something online that you reckon is a pure bargain - but then when it arrives, you don't know whether to laugh or cry. Like that story about that woman who dressed her cat in a crochet crop top.


Most of the time, despite being beyond comprehendible levels of broke, I can laugh at my expectation vs reality moments. The 'it's so bad, it's funny' kinda awkward lols. Think that it serves myself right, for ordering something for 50p from Hong Kong with free postage and hoping it would be top quality. 

However, sometimes it's not really that funny [I am still giggling at that cat in her crop top, though.] Especially when you really wanted something. But then also, sometimes you do strike gold and the 67p necklace you had shipped in from halfway across the world is perfect and it's a triumph like no other. So this series is going to be dedicated to this concept; kind of like the 'Fit or Sh*t?' features I had going on before I became too poor to afford new makeup to test [insert a teary-eyed smiley here.] Follow me on my journey as I test out the cheapest products of the internets, to see if they actually do look like the picture - you can either grab some great bargains or learn a lot  from my mistakes!

Expectation vs Reality: Part #1 > Midi Rings

Expectation > Set of 5 rings, I won these at auction on eBay for 75p [but I've seen some sell as low as 29p!] with free shipping. 





Reality >  First things first, it said on the listing that shipping would take 11-23 days from China, but these turned up in less than a week - so fair play to this seller. But did the rings I receive look like the ones in the photo above?




Well yes, sort of. They look very much like the ones in the photos, however the key difference to note is that they are extremely small fitting. I wanted midi rings, so this is fine by me, but if you're expecting to get any of them over the joint in the middle of your finger; think again [unless you want to lose all circulation to your fingers or are a small child.]  The two plain bands will only fit onto my little finger and the others sit very firmly as midi rings. And I haven't got massive sausage fingers either.

Conclusion

For me, these rings were well worth the 75p I paid for them. Let's not lie, the quality of them isn't great. And I'd have to knock about 15 years off my total age to get them to fit as anything other than midi rings. But they are cute, interesting midi rings to dress up my fingers and I didn't laugh or cry when I opened them; which is definitely a good sign.

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What are your thoughts? Have you had any epic 'Expectation vs Reality' moments with things you've bought online, or any amazing bargains off eBay?


*all photo credits [other than my own work] to the seller on eBay

This Week's Lust List: Very

There's three things you should be aware of about me, other than I lead a life filled with shame and embarrassment and I proudly declare my love for Poundland:

1) I love shopping.
2) I love my credit cards.
3) I've been on crutches for 9 months and can't pop into town for a quick dose of retail therapy; so  shopping has become both a blessing and a curse during these housebound times.

Very combines the best of all these things; with a fab and extensive selection of all the things I could ever dream of buying. I can add my new treats to my credit account and also have the choice of getting my new purchases sent straight to my door [although I usually opt to have it dropped off via Collect+ to the very shady looking 24/7 corner-shop up the road #ghettoprobs. Ah well, least I always have a piece of metal at hand {in the form of my faithful crutches} to batter any potential wrong'uns.]

Here's a few pieces that have caught my eye over at Very this week.



1. Fiorelli Roxanne Shoulder Bag, £70.00 2. Motel Lace Up Flare Sleeve Swing Dress, £45.00 3. Max Factor Colour Elixir Lipstick in Angel Pink, £9.00 3. Eylure Eyelash Wardrobe New York, £13.00  4. Orelia Wishbone Necklace, £10.00 4. Illamasqua Glamore Collection Shattered Star Nail Varnish - Trilliant, £15.00 5. River Island Split Side Knitted Tunic, £35.00

I adore this stuff. Like, I can't cope with how much I need that Motel dress. As an eyelash obsesso, I can't believe I've missed out on knowing these super cute eyelash wardrobes existed before [and £13 is not a bad price for three pairs of Eylure lashes with glue], I adore the shimmery, neutral tone of the Illamasqua Trilliant nail polish and that fab nude Max Factor lippy reminds me a little of Gerard Cosmetics packaging. 

I'll let you in on a little secret; I've been obsessing over that Orelia wishbone necklace for weeks now, before I realised Very stock them. But also, having £10 is a massive obstacle right now. So I may or may not have bought a very similar style for just 67p [including postage] off eBay. I sh*t you not, guys. However, I'll let you know what it looks like when it turns up, as so many times I have played the 'Expectation vs Reality' game when it comes to 'bargains' from Hong Kong, which turned out to be the polar opposite of what they looked like in the photos.

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What do you think of my picks and how would you style these pieces? Have you bought anything truly fab from Very recently? Have you had any shocking / funny experiences when buying from these super-cheap sellers in Hong Kong?

*the images in this collage aren't my own; they are from the stock imagery on each of the links above.

#TMIFridays - The Most Embarrassing Moments of My Life Series, #2

Hello beauts; welcome to the very latest in my #TMIFridays weekly instalments of shame series. 


Life can be a biatch sometimes - it's been playing some sick kind of joke on me for the past few months - but it's important sometimes to take the [sick] joke and be able to laugh at yourself. Therefore, I'm here to share some of my most cringeworthy, shameful and plain old embarrassing life experiences with you; so we can lol together at my expense. The sort of things I'd have died inside over if they'd have happened to me as an angst ridden teen, but now I'm older and my dignity's long gone; I can lol about. 

For the next few weeks, I'm going to get back onboard the old #TMIFridays bandwagon again [read more about what the frig I'm talking about here] through a new collection of posts: 'The Most Embarrassing Moments Of My Life Series.' And you can catch up on shame you may have missed from last week here *Spoiler alert - you'll never look at bandeau dresses in the same light again*


#2 The first time I was stung by a wasp


I'd say that when something bad happens to me, it's never just by halves. If I'm going to do something stupid or embarrassing, it's never just something minor; it's all or nothing. 

When I'm going to cock things up, I do it on an epic or severely cringeworthy scale. And my first times are no exception to the rule. For example, my first serious injury was when I dislocated my knee, dressed as a cartoon character and ending up in me having to get a nurse to put my pants back on for me whilst on the toilet [this is another story in itself, so I won't ruin it] and my first kiss was tainted by the pungent aroma / taste of pickle Monster Munch [it still makes me heave now.]


So this is a nice, embarrassing first for you, as part of the #TMIFridays emb series, involving one winged assassin and his arse dagger [sting.] Here we go.

I was sat in a minibus full of tourists, on holiday in Turkey. It had been a lovely day; we'd all been to the beach and to the mudbaths, so we were sat drying off in the sun as the transfer bus dropped us back at our hotels. I was sat by the window, with a lovely cool breeze blowing in my face. Ahh, it was lovely.

UNTIL A BLOODY WASP BLEW IN THROUGH THE WINDOW RIGHT ONTO ME. 

Obv when this massive winged ninja suddenly came crashing through the window, I shat myself. And it had been blown in through the window,  right onto my boob, as I was wearing a bikini top. In a mad panic [imagine hysterical screaming and this little Turkish driver looking at me in a mix of confusion and horror as I was sat right next to him] I managed to flick the wasp off my breast and I naively thought it was over.

Oh no, this tropical bastard had other ideas.


When I flicked him off me, he didn't fly away; he just dropped like he was hot. And as I was sitting down, where did he end up? Yes, in between my legs. When I was wearing hotpants. 


To summarise, the first time I was stung by a wasp, it was in an area no wasp should ever go. 

No doubt being stung anywhere on the body would hurt, but when a wasp very nearly impregnates you with its stinger [yeah, I'm talking about down there] I will tell you now; it hurts. No-one had any idea what was going on and I looked like both a flipping mentalist and a sexual deviant at the same time as I was yelling out some pretty colourful swears and shrieks whilst also trying to subtly remove a stinger from my crotch area. Safe to say, I didn't make any friends on that holiday.


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Have you ever been stung by one of these winged warriors before? Do you have an embarrassing tale to tell?

Cherry Diva* Pick 'n' Mix - & You Thought Sweets Were Good...


I stalk a lot of websites, let's not lie. I'm that lurker; the obsessive window shopper who never has any money but who's heart belongs to most material possessions the internet has to offer. But one of my favourite online stores - which has made me break my no spending pact [find out what I purchased at the end of this post] and which I love to stalk at the moment - has to be Cherry Diva*.


I'll freely admit to anyone who asks me [and to those that don't!] that I've stalked these guys for a while. If you've read pretty much any post I've ever published in my life, you will know pretty much instantly that I love a good bargain. And true to form, one of the main reasons I am so obsessed with Cherry Diva is how cheap [yet beautiful] their stock package is.

Being a massive bargain hunter [think of me as like David Dickinson, but less tanned] one of my favourite features on the Cherry Diva website, is their fabulous Pick 'n' Mix section

I love sweets; Woolworths pick 'n' mix bags were mine and my childhood bezzie's swag when our parents finally let us go into town alone. But I'll tell you now; Pick 'n' Mix with Cherry Diva is so much better than even that ecstatic, e-number filled buzz I remember getting from eating too many gummies on the bus home. 


Here's a little selection of some of the super-cute items* you can expect to choose from as part of the Cherry Diva Pick 'n' Mix, which allows you to mix and match amazing cheap jewellery, accessories and novelty gift ideas - all for only £1 each, with free UK shipping on orders over £10. [I still can't get my head around these price tags, tbh.] 



1. Peace Bracelet*, £1 

This is just about the cutest little boho bracelet; ideal for festival wear, lazy days in the park or to layer up with other bracelets and bangles to truly accessorise your wrist for summer.



2. Heart Bangle*, £1 

I can't cope with how minimalist and cute this bangle is. It's like every Instagrammers dream. It also looks incredible when worn with other bangles stacked together; perfect for dressing up summer arms. 


3. Black Bow Ring*, £1 

I love bow rings. I hoard them like no other. This is just so pretty and delicate, with frilly / scalloped gold edges.



4. Gothic Style Earrings*, £1 

I'm feeling the glam vs grunge look at the moment; these little earrings add a gothic twist to the most girly of outfits and would be ideal to wear as part of a festival inspired look. Cherry Diva also do them in gold, again for just one english pound [can't cope.]



5. Heart Earrings*, £1 > I can't find these exact earrings on the site, but go 'head and browse the full Pick 'n' Mix range

Fab, jewel-laden little earrings which can be worn day-to-day or with an updo for a more dressy occasion.

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I highly recommend shopping with Cherry Diva and not just being like me and sitting on the sidelines for so long. Some of their pieces are snapped up so fast and their customer service is fab. I know this first hand; as as well as this gorgeous PR Sample, I also treated myself to a gorgeous bodychain for just £5 and some summery pastel earrings for just £5 too. I might have broken my spending ban, but it was definitely worth it.

Have you shopped with / stalked Cherry Diva before? What are your must have accessories for Summer?


*Cherry Diva very kindly sent me these PR samples after I pretty much imploded with excitement to them about how fab their website is and how fab the concept of the £1 Pick 'n' Mix is. All opinions are my own and I legit think that their online boutique is fab x

#TMIFridays - The Most Embarrassing Moments of My Life Series, #1

I firmly believe I carry around a shame magnet, always attracting either a) the village madman, telling me about their lack of sex life [this has legit happened on more than one occasion] or b) copious amounts of embarrassment and shame. 

Once, when I used to work in retail, I was trying to make a customer feel better that his card had been declined by empathising with him and telling him the story of how my card had been declined in Asda for a solitary can of Smart Price tuna. After this truly emb [embarrassing, sorry I love a good bit of slang] tale he said 'But you can't tell you live such a life of shame, you're always laughing and smiling!' To which I replied, 'I'm always laughing son, because my life is a bit of a joke.' And it's kinda gone from there. 

I truly believe you have to laugh at yourself every once in a while or else you'd go a bit mental. No-one should take themselves that seriously. So I'm here to share that joke with you; for us to lol together at my expense. For the next few weeks, I'm going to get back onboard the old #TMIFridays bandwagon again [read more about what the frig I'm talking about here] through a new collection of posts: 'The Most Embarrassing Moments Of My Life Series.' I'm not too sure how much is too much when it comes to oversharing, so I will reign it in a bit [unless you guys give me permission to do otherwise] but if you fancy putting a request in, I'll most likely have an embarrassing story to fit. 



So here we go. Kicking it off, the first episode from this toe-curling, awkward laugh series, will be a post called:


#1 - The Strapless Dress Incident

And it's probably not what you think. 

Whilst I was working in the same retail store where I shared my experiences re: the tuna-gate scandal, shame followed me around like a bad smell. And it's quite likely a bad smell followed me around too, as this was coincidentally during the period of my life where birds pooed on me most days. 

On this occasion, I had spent ages with a customer who was choosing from a selection of our maxi dresses, helping her pick the one she felt happiest in and which was most suited to the occasion she had in mind etc. You know, general customer service.

When she brought her dress of choice to the till, we carried on chatting about it as I scanned her stuff and bagged it up. She went for a slinky, strapless maxi dress in the end, so I complimented her on her choice. The customer [who was an all round lovely lady, by the way] said that she was happy that the dress came with removable straps, so that she had the option to put those on to make the dress feel more comfortable on her.

To which, without even thinking, I said:

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes, it just feels better with a strap on."


And then it hit me what I'd said. The embarrassment and shame from the word I had just left awkwardly to hang in the air cascaded over me. I legit don't know how I continued the rest of that transaction without imploding from the suppressed , awkward, embarrassed giggles trapped in the pit of my stomach. 

She knew. She looked just as awkward as me. We were in mystery shopper season and I had just said the word 'STRAP ON' quite loudly in a customer's face. There was no coming back from that. But hell, I laughed till I cried after she'd gone, imagining if she was the mystery shopper and the report she'd give me [turns out we had already been mystery shopped and I'd also spoken to this girl and told her that 'Although this dress looks a bit questionable right and a bit like a bat with its wings spread on the hanger; give it a chance - cos it's really nice when you actually put it on.']

Hope you enjoyed this first instalment of just one of the countless embarrassing moments which make up my life. Let me know if you enjoyed this post, think this is a good idea, or if you think its just another way for me to show myself up in public! 

Have you done anything embarrassing lately?


#Lifestyle .. May Loves and Loathes

I might be a little late to the party, but here's a little lifestyle post, featuring a quick recap of my loves and loathes last month. You may have seen me rant about some of these on Twitter or obsessively post about them on Instagram; but here's the backstory.

*Disclaimer* when I use the word 'lifestyle', you have to remember that I in reality don't have a life; so if you're expecting sex, booze and rock 'n' roll I have a slice of advice for you - expect to be disappointed, okay? 




May's Baes - The Things I've LOVED This Month


- Putting on about 15 layers of nail polish just so I can sit and peel it off and try and get it all off in one Yes, you are correct to assume I am a self confessed loser and you are also correct to assume that my nails are now also pretty buggered due to all this peeling activity [but you've tried this at least once, right?]

- Discovering Dairy Milk Mini Oreos mix
Heaven in a bag. Those Marvellous Mix-Ups are incredible, Dairy Milk. Even the popping candy one. So thanks.

- I got a new Vaccum Cleaner
And it's sick, y'all. Those flakes of nail polish [and fragments of grated cheese that seem to get everywhere] are no more.

- Rimmel Stay Matte Mousse Foundation
I've got right back into this recently; it's a lovely, fluffy full coverage foundation which covers a multitude of sins [i.e. most of my facial features] and reduces the amount of concealer I have to bother with.

Radium Muscle Soak
I didn't have high hopes for this B&M Bargains 85p special, but it actually bubbles up in a style comparable to Radox and smells lovely too. As a bath enthusiast, I couldn't not share this with you.

- Baths, all the time
And brews in the bath; who can argue that a lovely warm bubbly bath with a bit of 4od on and a nice mug of Tetleys isn't somewhat the dream?

- Oxblood nails
Pastels and white nails might be all the rage for summer, but I love a vampy oxblood shade. I've been rediscovering my love for Revlon polishes and feeling like a proper sophisticated adult now I've painted both my fingernails and toenails the same shade #goals.





May's LOATHES - The Main Sources Of My Firey, Incandescent Rage



- Ear infections - Like it's not already a sick enough joke I have a broken left hip, I now also have an ear infection on my right hand side. Trying to find a side to sleep on now is pretty much a military operation. And when I visited my GP he spent more time looking at my boobs than my inflamed ear canal. Just lol.

The man who coughed in my ear in B&M Bargainscheers mate, you are now the prime suspect / most likely instigator of the ear infection scandal.

- Rampant upstairs neighbours
Have you ever wondered how much sex is too much sex? How violent you can be before bashing through a floorboard, or how long you can have sex before it all goes wrong and someone ends up in A&E? The answer is AS LONG AND AS VIOLENT AND AS LOUD AND AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, according to the raging Portugese couple who live directly above me. Maybe I'm bitter that people have loving relationships and I just sleep, but it's most likely I'm psychologically scarred due to the blatant sex fest that occurs above my head every afternoon and evening.

- Barry M Quick Dry nail polishes
This stuff is so quick to dry, it turns out they just dry in their pots to save you a job. Gloopy and poopy. My nails shall be pastel no more.

- Being attacked by a bright orange bee / wasp thing
Like it's not bad enough I've been on crutches for 9 months and can't walk - I was stood outside the pharmacy trying to avoid the local nutjobs, when all of a sudden, this orange assassin began swooping at me and chasing me down the accessibility ramp. Talk about not trying to run before you can walk - how do you flee a scene smoothly on crutches?

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How was your May? Did you experience any similar loves or loathes? Anything worse?! Did you find anything / do anything fab last month which puts my life of crutching and bleaching the bathroom grouting for fun to shame? I'd love to hear more.

If you want to keep up to speed with my [ever so] riveting life, fashion and beauty blog you can follow me on Bloglovin', Twitter or Instagram.