Friday, 13 March 2015

#TMIFridays | Friday the 13th Special


So, it's a double whammy today. 

1. It's Friday, which means that a good old #TMIFridays overshare is on the cards [click that sly hashtag to find out more] and 2. it's also Friday the 13th [insert spooky noise here] a day which traditionally many people fear, on account of it being deemed extremely unlucky.

So why not, on this 'unlucky' day, sit back and laugh with me [or at me, probably more so at me] over some of the unlucky things that have happened to me over the years. Obv I'm going to try and keep this upbeat and maintain the lols; you're all aware I was injured pretty atrociously 6 months ago and that's no fun to keep harping on about.  Or reading about. 

These ten unlucky moments I've compiled for you are ones I'm pretty sure we can all relate to [at least a bit] and make you realise that yes, life does hold its FML moments, but as long as we can laugh at ourselves and maintain a positive attitude; things aren't really so bad.

Friday The 13th Spesh: Ten of The Unluckiest [But Also Funniest] Things That Have Happened To Me 

1. There was a time about 4 years ago, when I couldn't leave my place of work without being pooed on [savagely] by bird assailants. Every time I went across to Tesco - flitting in and out of shelter as much as possible - it happened regardless. Often right at the last hurdle, as I rushed to the doors. People might say that bird poo is lucky - but it's not really, is it. 

It ain't cool, pigeons. It. Ain't. Cool.

2. Running for the bus and it driving away. 

Pretty much self explanatory. 

But anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a sporty person and I run like a prize gimp. For this to keep happening - day after day - was heartbreaking for me. It used to result in me panting, swearing and hand gesturing pretty aggressively at the bus as it cruised off into the sunset.

Denied.

3. In similar fashion, a few years ago the train also had a phase of betraying me. There was this time where the doors just chose to close on me when I was getting on and trapped my arm and pulled my skirt up - just for the lols and early morning bum exposure. All these business men with briefcases and suits rushed to my rescue. I spent the rest of my journey with my head cowered in shame.

4. EVERY. TIME. My laptop decides to crash, restart to install 'vital' updates or encounter an unknown error when I'm hard at work. 

You KNOW the feeling. That heart sinking, sickening panic of knowing those 500 words you'd been working so hard on are likely to be history? That.

5. That time I sat on my straighteners when they were on. Yeah. OW. My bum is forever branded - like the flanks of a prize cow; thank you GHD. Good Hair Day, maybe. Not so much of a good day for my poor left bum-cheek.

6. And it doesn't even stop there. I also managed to stand inside my straighteners when they were on and branded the top of my foot too. [If you fancy some more lolling and details regarding these two incidents, you can read more about them here.]

7. It's something I've defo already rambled on about in the blog in earlier posts; but that day where before I had my school photograph taken and whilst getting dolled up I curled my eyelashes... for them only to all snap off!!!! STILL stands out in my mind. Unlucky.

8. Once when I was in Uni we went out to a club night and one of our lad mates wasn't drinking [which was a major shocker in itself.] He got a bottle of coke to keep him going, but sadly as he opened it, it dramatically exploded and sprayed me firmly in the face - particularly in the eyes. 

Sticky.

9. Slightly grim but defo something which qualifies as an overshare [but doesn't lead on too well from the word 'sticky'] ... there was a time where I was late for uni [and life] every single day because I kept standing in dog poo outside the house. 

I wasn't alone; every single one of my housemates also went through this hell-on-earth experience. 

The number of times I'd get home and see a line of shoes in the garden, or receive a group text saying 'DON'T move the shoes by the front door, I've stood in shit... AGAIN!'.... 

That was worse than just unlucky. Why was it so well disguised :(

10. When I was on holiday a few years ago, I noticed the tiniest, cutest puppy dog walking round on its own. Stupid me - I stroked it and started speaking to it; only for it to chase me around, biting my ankles. 

It wouldn't leave me alone. 

And its little teeth HURT. 

People were trying to hold it back; but its urge to bite me / do me harm was TOO STRONG. I now feature on the holiday snaps of about 3000 tourists; girl in bodycon fleeing in fear from a tiny puppy, chasing her across a crowded car park. 

AND I CAN'T RUN. For buses or from puppies. Bah.

//

Have you ever had a truly unlucky Friday the 13th? Has anything freaky happened to you this Friday? Or do you just have an unlucky-yet-rofltastic story to tell? I'd love to know more; surely it can't just be me who encounters life in this way?!

*image found here, it's not one of mine
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