Friday, 18 August 2017

#Personal | If I'm On My Phone, I'll Be Doing ONE Of These Things...


I won't lie, I think I'm addicted to my phone. I'm one of those total bell pieces who has a breakdown several times a day thinking that I've lost it, when it was in my hand or glued to my ear the whole time. But they are useful little buggers aren't they, phones. Mine's my social life, camera, music player, calculator and ulimate blogging assistant in one; to name just a few of its diverse roles.

I've read a few posts recently on useful apps, games people have been playing and the top few things you guys couldn't function as humans without; when it comes to your mobile telecommunications device. So being the firm-jumper-on-bandwagons that I am, I thought I'd share with you guys some of the top activities I get up to on my phone.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog - What I Get Up To On My Phone

1. Obsessively Instagram-stalking
This has become my new go-to habit. Any time I'm at a bit of a loose end, I find myself there; double tapping, wanting to murder those bellend follow-unfollowers and yelling 'You didn't even take that, knobhead!' furiously when I see images people are using which AREN'T THEIRS, without credit.

2. The Morning Scroll
I spend at least ten minutes of a morning not getting ready for work and instead, scrolling aimlessly to see what I've missed, what's trending and catching up on notifications.

3. Watching people's Snapchat stories and wondering why them eating a sandwich was important enough to add to their story AND send to me privately?? Why are these people like this, pls?

4. Whatsapp 
The group chat takes up most of my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I spend most of my life rofling, requesting nudes [jokingly] and recording hit singles via voice note through Whatsapp; I frigging love it.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog - What I Get Up To On My Phone

5. Twitter
I'm always on Twitter. Lurking and eating my popcorn, as yet another drama kicks off.

6. Catching up on Soap spoilers also appears to be my bag. I don't know when I got so middle-aged, but finding out the goss from upcoming Eastenders episodes is life.

7. Checking up on who's playing follow / unfollow
I swore I'd never get one of these apps, because it would p*ss me off too much and make me even more of a bitter old hag than I already am, but I downloaded InstaReport and I SEE YOU.

8. Apple Mail / Gmail 
Monitoring the never ending parade of emails from African Princes trying to deposit $3,000,000 into my account, random people sending me sh*te infographics and knobheads trying to sell me bots.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog - What I Get Up To On My Phone

9. Natwest Mobile Banking App
Great for monitoring my current levels of poverty. Also fun to look at for a proper laugh.

10. Notes
I constantly make notes as reminders and list like a mofo. I really need to clear them out, there's all kinds of random sh*te lurking in there. 

11. Trello
Yet another resource I use to make never-ending To Do lists.

12. Depop 
Where I get harrassed by bad cranks over something that cost me £40 but that they want for £1 including postage. Okay hun xox

Lovelaughslipstick Blog - What I Get Up To On My Phone

13. I spend a lot of time snapping stupid sh*t [such as pigeons having a wash, Clive using his balls as a pillow and screenshotting memes] on my phone's camera - my camera roll is a great laugh; with some of the ugliest damn selfies you'll ever see. I enjoy browsing it for light entertainment.

14. MSQRD
Filters GALORE!

15. eBay
Another channel for people to harrass me with their requests to buy my entire life for £2 inc next day delivery.

16. 4od / ITV Hub / BBC iPlayer
Catching up on aforementioned Eastenders gossip - it's aaaaaall about Dot Cotton's cat, Dave. And Hollyoaks. And MIC. And of course, Family Guy.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog - What I Get Up To On My Phone

17. I like to have a cheeky slut drop and bum wiggle listening to some bangin remixes via the Kiss Radio app.

18. Voice Memos
This sounds boring AF but it turns out, past me has recorded a LOT of sh*te whilst absolutely smashed in here. Including me [absolutely hammered] trying to get some Australian boys to yell 'Poo Bandit' in Heebie Jeebies.

19. Google
I'm a curious person, but just.. about all the stupidest things. I'm forever Googling sh*t like 'Do spiders fart?' 'Do flies have willies?' 'Do spiders have bumholes?'... my browser history is just like a timeline of the weird and wonderful questions that have floated into my head.

20. Buffer
Girl gotta schedule them tweets, y'all. 

... And that's about it. I hope you guys found that remotely interesting, if not - don't worry, I won't do it again [unless I find some really cool-ass apps I feel the need to spend my life on and share with you lot.]

What do you get up to on your phone? Do you spend your time like me, or perhaps use it better / worse than I'm admitting to? Let me know, I love reading stuff like this and being pure nosey.
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