Hey baes. I realised yesterday that I haven't chatted much on here about what's going on in my actual life or submitted any goss in pure time. Not that I have any goss, unless you class the fact I'm getting new carpets fitted next week as pure juicy scandal

But yeno, it's probably time I actually took five minutes to sit down and just write some stuff about the things. Cos there's a lot of shiz going on in life right now, and as part of my pledge to seemingly overshare with the internet, I thought I'd stop by, like. Plus, I love being proper nosey and reading posts like this, so I'm hoping you guys do too.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog Lifestyle Catch Up

1. I'm missing a hip, can you help?
Yeah, you read that right. Unfortunately [after the accident a few years ago] my hip has suddenly taken a turn for the worst over these past couple of months. It's been incredibly frustrating for me, but I adopted this 'F*** YOU PAIN' attitude and just carried on anyway. Probs shouldn't have. It turns out that the top of my hip bone has caved in and I'm now waiting for more surgery. Frigs sake, man. Give me a break life - and not in my hip bone this time!

2. Painkillers
The only silver lining to this frigging ordeal has been some of the painkillers I've had. I've been smacked up and off my tits some days, and it's been pretty glorious. 

3. New carpets are being fitted - this isn't a drill
I legit can't wait for this landmark event. Clive is going to lose his shit. I'm going to lose mine. And Paul Carpet, as he's saved in my phone, has become my new favourite Whatsapp contact to stalk - his bad ass statuses make my LIFE.

4. New addiction - 'The Floor is Lava' videos
If you haven't watched any, do it.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog Lifestyle Catch Up

5. Follow / Unfollowers can suck a chode
Literally, I'm sick to the back teeth of this. I've had so many of the same people doing this to me on Instagram recently, trying to grow their numbers. And I get it - growing your account is f*cking hard work. But this isn't the way.

I always message those who do it to me multiple times, because not only is it annoying as f*ck, it's also rude as hell. And I've had all kinds of responses this month [to me being polite, may I add] - some girl booting off when I messaged her about it [literally, I lolled SO HARD at her attitude] who proceeded to block me, some people blaming their kids [?!], people blaming apps but denying bots... some people not giving two shits at all and telling me how they like my account but if I'm not going to follow them back then I've got to go. WHAT. 'If you can't be arsed to engage with me then I'm unfollowing.' Sorry, what?!?!

If I like someone's feed, I follow it because I want to see their content. Even if they do a sly unfollow on me, if I like your account, I will remain your follower. That's the whole point of Insta, isn't it? You find accounts you like, you follow them to enjoy their content. You don't follow / unfollow them for numbers. Is that all I am to these people? A number? There's me thinking you followed me because I worked hard on my content, but you actually only followed because you want me as a number on your count and don't give two shits about how bad it makes you look. Don't.

6. Triggered by Dot in Eastenders
Jeeeez it's been hard watching Dot in EE with her broken hip recently; it's so triggering for me lol. Old people's probs.

7. Best friends 
As I've been going through my own personal equivalent of hell these past few weeks, my best girls have been sending me the most adorable care packages to cheer me up and making me weep with emotion and love. Especially at Kinder Buenos. HEART YOU ALL, you sexy peaches. Check out my queens here:

Lovelaughslipstick Blog Lifestyle Catch Up

8. Pokemon Go update
I no longer get it. Yes, I'm still playing [which I know may sound pretty tragic to some of you but yeno, I need something to do when I can't walk that well don't I haha] and also no, I don't get what any of this new Gym stuff is.

9. Dairy Milk Medley - a revelation
Just try it.

10. Bummed by Argos
I can't even be arsed to go into the details cos it's just ridiculous, but Argos have properly mugged me off this week and taken my last £23.95. I am now aggressively tweeting them Rihanna 'Bitch Better Have My Money' GIFS until they f*cking give it back. And missing payments, thanks to their bollocks website. I don't get why it's taking them so long to give it me back - has Diane at Head Office been on a mad bender with my money or something?

11. Paul the Postman
I need to give Paul a shout out for being such a total babe and helping me with my post. He's such a sweety - a credit to Royal Mail. Meanwhile, we have Hermes nicking my parcels and the scumbag slut b*tch family upstairs STILL making my life a living hell with all the noise. Hmm.

Lovelaughslipstick Blog Lifestyle Catch Up

What's been going on with you recently? Any tips on how to discretely assassinate a noisy, satanic arsehole of a neighbour?
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