Saturday, 24 February 2018

Things That [Might] Make Me Fall For / Tolerate Someone Romantically*


Although at the moment I feel about as romantic as a squashed dog turd; festering on the side of the road, there are a few qualities you can sometimes find in a fella which might [slightly] defrost my ice-queen heart. But it's otherwise as frosty as my freezer, which has frozen all three drawers shut & taken my food hostage since about 2014. Be arsed defrosting that like, I'd need a sh*tting pick axe & a team of trained huskies. 

ANYWAY - before I go off on a mad chilled food storage tangent, let's crack on with today's dating post; where I've compiled a lil list of a few of the things that occasionally make me warm towards males. In no particular order.

15 Things That [Might] Make Me Fall For Someone | Lovelaughslipstick Blog

- Nice arms are a huge weakness for me. I'm not talking pure muscular, just... nice from the wrist to the elbow. They proper get me going yeno [I've also recently got quite into calf muscles too.]

- Not smelling like poo / rancid BO. Pls don't smell, lads. Or have death breath. Granted, you might have worked up a sweat in the gym [and to be honest, that's quite hot sometimes] but stinking like the BO of a thousand men wearing wooly jumpers & lifting weights in the Saharan Sun - whilst you're here, in the cold AF British climate & sitting down isn't okay.

- Having a dece sense of humour. If you make me laugh, I'll instantly find you around 54% more attractive. And you have to laugh at my jokes & tolerate my sarcastic, immature sense of humour too. 

- Honesty & reliability - two things which are pretty much impossible to find in this modern world. WHY LIE tho??? Just be honest & not a bellend and we'll be sound. And be on time, dependable but yet still wild enough to make me wanna bang ya. 

15 Things That [Might] Make Me Fall For Someone | Lovelaughslipstick Blog

- Which leads me onto my next point - I love and / or need to be with someone spontaneous / fun. Sometimes, I just wanna go a bit rogue and dance on tables till 3am, book spur of the moment hotel breaks or have a cheeky neck in a risqué location. And I love surprise trips, fun ideas & creating those mad memories that'll last forever. Not constant takeaways and early nights [of a sleeping and non-sexual manner.]

- If you genuinely love all the Border Force shows on PickTV and watching all the mad sh*t people try and smuggle into the country in their pants. And the drugs toilet.

- Cheese

- If they love animals and floofy pets as much as I do. Okay, sure... noone can love them as much as I do. But somewhere up there in the rankings, like.

- If you're not afraid of talking about things - difficult, embarrassing or otherwise. Sometimes a good argument is all you need to clear the air and have some fantastically passionate make up sex after. But I get none of these things.

- If they have okay feet. Like, no male feet are okay. And most women ones are rancid too. Actually no, I can't embellish much further on this point as it's making me want to vom. I hate feet.

15 Things That [Might] Make Me Fall For Someone | Lovelaughslipstick Blog

- Bit of a weird one, but good spelling and grammar proper gets me going. If you text me and it makes sense, I'm keen.

- If they're kind, cute and thoughtful. Little gifts, surprises, messages, phone calls and cuddles... just because. Not some flowers from the garage that are half dead and a 'present I've ordered online' which never shows up cos you've forgotten Valentine's again.

- Accents can occasionally make me fall a bit in love. A good scouse accent gets me pure weak at the knees - as does Manc, some Cockney and also, Scottish. I once necked a hot Scotsman after doing a lot of impressions & talking about kilts. It was triumphant.

- If you make me feel like a proper Goddess and appreciate me. I get bored proper easily - and feeling taken for granted will make me resent you and call you swear words in my head.

- A love for holidays in the sun, lying on the beach ignoring each other until it's time for food.

15 Things That [Might] Make Me Fall For Someone | Lovelaughslipstick Blog

BONUS POINTS AWARDED FOR:

- Someone who also adores PickTV and South Park to a similar level as me
- If Clive likes you, and you like Clive
- If you don't judge me for my excessive cheese consumption [and instead, perhaps join me nibbling on some cheddar?]
- If you have tattoos [not sh*t ones though]
- NOT being a knob cheese messaging loads of birds on the sly
- Someone who loves Pokémon as much [and as tragically] as I do... you gotta know your Weedle from your Caterpie lad [and agree that after the original 151, the creators really started scrapin' the barrel with their ideas]
- Someone who has some good tactics for defeating the levels in Panda Pop; the most addictive iPhone game in the world
- Someone who has big enough balls to watch horror films with me
- Fellow haters of ET [he's a horrible wrinkly turd & he's not okay, huns xox]

15 Things That [Might] Make Me Fall For Someone | Lovelaughslipstick Blog

What do you find attractive in a partner - are there certain traits or physical aspects that draw you in [like a moth to the flame... is that the saying? Hmm, maybe like a fly to the sh*t... I know that's a thing] every time? Are you seeking someone who ticks all dem boxes

If so and you're local to me and live in my favourite city in the world - this website focussing on dating Manchester singles might lead you to your ET hating, cheese obsessed other half. Dumfries singles and those looking to date Wiltshire singles may find the linked websites handy in your quest for lovin'. Clicking this link leads you to a few Oxfordshire dating sites that may hold the profile of dat dreamboat you've been searching for all your life - and to my sexy Irish readers looking to enjoy dating Belfast babes; you're welcome.

What qualities or quirks attract you to a potential partner? Or what totes turns you off them?
*Sponsored post, cos ya gal's gotta occasionally eat and pay off da baliffs innit xo

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